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Homage to those programmers amongst us having script kiddies.
#!perl
# My Father, the Hacker v1.0
# by Yanick Champoux (12/9/2002)
use Data::Dumper;
$diaper = new Data::Dumper ([],[]); # welcome to fatherhood, buddy
localtime => 'after supper';
study $course or 'change baby ?';
eval $ituation;
$baby => glob happily;
no warnings;
$diaper->can( wait );
$mother = grep @you, "wooooh, buster.";
BEGIN{ /The/, speech }
warn 2, put, perlgolf, @ the, index qw(and she would do it, too) ,1
or 2, map wife => hex;
our $baby; #she says
listen "and nod a lot",
s/igh/
yes, dear
/;
grep @baby, '';
open DIAPER;
eof;
push @away, y!u!ck!;
dump 'into garbage bin';
unpack new, diaper;
waitpid qw/
careful, boys can /,sqrt/!
/;
close DIAPER;
put, baby, 2, sleep;
seek $wife,'s approval',
bless "strange hobby", 'now?';
return "to perlgolf" if s.he does..;
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Ode to Perl Golfing...
#!/usr/bin/perl
# Dueling Dingos v1.1, by Yanick Champoux (9/4/2002)
#
# Inspired by the TPR(0,2) Perl Golf contest.
# Name haven't been changed, since the involved
# parties could hardly be labelled as 'innocent',
# and are way far too gone to protect anyway.
wait until localtime > @April[0]; # wait until the first of April
BEGIN{}
study and seek FOR, $some, $inspiration;
write $stuff;
$score = 145; # no good;
delete $stuff { I_can_do_without }
and do $more_stuff;
delete $even{more_stuff};
reverse $engineer; study; eval $strategy and redo;
write, write, write;
delete $_{'!'}, delete $"{"@!"}, delete $@{'*'}; # must stop cursing
use less 'characters', $durnit;
read THE, $current, $solution;
not 2, $bad;
delete $white_spaces{''} until $program == glob;
for( $all, my @troubles )
{
unlink 1, $character;
}
ARGH:
$must, not $despair;
$I->can(do{ $it });
study new Idea;
m/mmmm/m... do{able};
kill $chickens;
'ask', $Nanabozo, 2, bless $me, 'with more inspiration';
$so, close; warn $mailing_list and alarm $Andrew;
$toil until my $solution < /-\ndrew's
/;
GOT_IT:
send $solution, $to, ref;
$brain, shutdown I,'m dead';
goto sleep;
wait; $till, $the, $day, $after;
readline last $scoreboard;
grep $all, stat;
read THE, $stats, $again until $it_sinks_in;
$Andrew,'s score' lt $mine;
$eyeball, pop @o
;
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Okay, not really a poem, but where was I supposed to put something like that?
#!/usr/bin/perl
# twelve_days_to_Christmas.pl, by Yanick Champoux (13/12/2001)
# to be run once a day from December 13 to December 24
$_=<<CHRISTMAS;
Okay, so I blow at drawing bows...
462757d6d65
627370246275 7d6d696e67602 0796075627
370207960796e6 7602c 6f6274637 0216d2c65616
0796e6 7602c6164696 563702 4616e63696 e67602d616964637
0216d2d6 96c6b696e6760 2377716e 6370216d2 377796d 6d696e676
02765656375 60216d2c6169796e6760276f6c64 656e602279 6e6763702
3616c6c696e67602269627463702642756e63686028656e6 370247572
747c6560246f66756370214e646021602071627472796467656029
6e6021602075616270247275656e2
1111001001110110
0000010000101110 0001011010100110
0000010000100100 1111101000000100
0010011010000110 1001111000000100
0100011010100110 0110011011110110
0100111010100110 0000010011000010
0001011001001110 1001011011001110
0010111010110110 1000011011001110
0101000010011010 1111011010101110
0100111000000100 0010111001001110
1010111010100110 0000010000110110
1111011001101110 1010011000000100
1110011010000110 0110111010100110
0000010000101110 1111011000000100
0010111000010110 1010011010100110
CHRISTMAS
s/\s|\n//g;s/.*\.//;s/[10]*$//;($h,@gifts)=((pack"b*",$&),split' ',
(pack"h*",$_),24);@days=qw/one two three four five six seven eight
nine ten eleven twelve/[0..($x=(localtime)[3]-13),11-$x];($_,$t) =
(pop@days,'th');s|^o.*|last|||s|.*o$|second|||s|$t.*|${t}ird|||s
|$|$t|;s |(?<!e)ve|f|;splice@gifts,0,22-2*$x;
y.t..s;s|(n)e(t)|$1$2|;
print eval qq/"$h\n"/;$_="\u$_ @{[shift@gifts,shift@gifts]}\n"and
(s/One (A)(nd a)/$x?$1x$x.$2:$1/e+1)&&print for reverse@days;
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That's what happen when a perl hacker gets sentimental...
#!/usr/bin/perl
# satori.pl v1.0 (31/7/2000) A Perl poem by Yanick Champoux
$\ = "\n"; *LIGHT=*STDOUT;
%accept = %salvation = ( hate => 'love' ,
greed => 'frugality' ,
anger => 'acceptance',
fear => 'certainity',
despair => 'hope' );
$now = # is the time
' ';
$no_more = '1ies';
# I want to be
$free = not $chained;
sleep $no_more; time, 2, $awake;
kill $doubt;
reverse $thinking;
my @soul = keys %salvation;
foreach $fear ( @soul )
{
print "I knew $fear";
push @out and push @away until $free;
print "$now I know$I_must $accept{ $fear }";
}
study $life;
tell TRUTH ;# do not lie to yourself
accept GOOD, BAD;
delete $soul{ sin };
not $let_go or exit or die;
# Turn my back to death and the
crypt's hollow comfort', 'it is too soon';
select LIGHT;
close PAST;
open EYES, 'and see';
bless $life={};
seek HAPPINESS,
abs$olution,
$peace;
untie $myself;
join 'back', 'humanity';
print;
print 'I am alive, I am free. Hear me roar, for I am ',` whoami`;
# This is where things
END{}
# This is where things
BEGIN{
# It is time to
return $home; }
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This one must be run from the command line and is not pure Perl, but is quite dear to me for reasons you probably don't want to know about...
banner `echo hullo! | perl -pey-holu-snim-,s:.\$:k\$\&:,s.i.o.#with_love` |
And they say romantism is dead...
#!/usr/bin/perl
$_="a secret greeting by"; y.an.ick.;
# having no doves near by, I tied this
# missive to the leg of a
( $flying_pig ) = qw/ oink oink oink /;
s/ecret?/
$a . 'm'#issive delivered by a
. $flying_pig #???
/ex;#huberant, more like.
# It's the kind of stuff
($_) = ( ucfirst, 'ublieveafter'
);
# but those flying hams /are/ quite
# fast and reliable. Of course, you have
# to get used to the
s,tic(k|.)*y,$stuff,;
( qw/ you don't want to know / );
# but even with that
' it',s, gr(eat)?, 'I '?' th':'ink'
,e;#specially for transatlantic correspondance.
# but I will stop here, as I'm sure you positively
die # to know the secret message hidden here
"$_\n";
qw( you just have to pipe it to perl to find out );
y.an.ick.
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